Demonic Elf War
by TheLovelyDanish
Summary: Jade has a little fun with the Elf On A Shelf. Super Short, Un-Betad, Future!Fic


**A/N - Just a short, holiday one-shot I wanted to write**

 **A/N #2 - I got this idea from a friend on facebook. She was posting photos of all the things her husband has been doing to their elf on a shelf and a plot bunny was born!**

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"Tori I'm home!" Jade called tiredly, kicking her shoes into the wall before walking over to the swing where her son, Jesse, was swinging happily. "Hey how's my baby boy doing?" She cooed lovingly. She picked him up and kissed his forehead before walking into the ktichen where Tori was cooking dinner. "Man whatever you're cook-" Jade stopped abruptly, causing Tori to turn away from the stove curiously. She noticed that Jade was glaring menacingly at a small box on the kitchen table.

"Oh do you like it? I thought it could be a new family tradition!" Tori smiled brightly. Jade narrowed her eyes at the box, to the point where Tori was shocked that lasers didn't come shooting out of them. "What?" She asked her wife

"What is that _thing_ doing here" Jade asked menacingly, still holding Jesse in her arms.

"It's called an Elf On The Shelf, it's a toy elf that we move from room to room every day to spy on the kids to make sure they're good!" Tori explained as she continued to cook dinner over the stove.

"No, I know what it is, what I want to know is why it's on our table in our house" Jade explained in a calm, but cold, voice. She set Jesse down into his small bassinet that was in the kitchen and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I thought we could start doing it to keep an eye on Jesse" Tori whispered, as if Jesse were able to understand them.

"Tori he's three months old, he doesn't even know what Christmas is" Jade rolled her eyes.

"Well I want to have one so that's that!" She huffed, turning back to the stove. Tori heard Jade agree, but failed to see the evil look gleaming in her eyes.

~~J&T~~

It was only 5am when Tori walked into the kitchen with her son in her arms. She already made him a bottle and was heating it up when she turned to the table.

"Ah!" Tori let out a small scream, happy that she didn't instinctively drop her son onto the floor out of shock. Her adorable Elf, who had been sitting on top of the fridge, was now sitting on the table with a sharp kitchen knife in it's hands in it's arms. "Jadelyn" She muttered under her breath as the microwave beeped.

"Gonna get rid of that demonic doll yet?" Jade asked as she casually strolled into the kitchen, just as Tori pulled out the bottle.

"Not a chance" Jade just smiled mischievously.

~~J&T~~

The next day, when Tori came back from the supermarket the Elf had been moved again from it's original spot. This time it was on the kitchen counter face down, a prescription pill bottle open with pills spilling out next to it's head with an empty beer bottle beside it. "Jadelyn" Tori muttered angrily as she put the groceries on the table.

On day three of having the Elf, Tori walked out of the bathroom to find the Elf lying face down on the coffee table, it's face buried in a pile of flour, a few lines of flour drawn around it and a straw under the Elfs hand. "What more can that girl do to this poor elf?" Tori asked herself.

When Tori walked into the living room after changing Jesse's diaper the next day, the Elf was sitting on the couch with her laptop open in front of it. A bottle of lotion and a roll of toilet paper were sat on either side of it. Some crumpled up tissues and the elfs hands in its lap completed the look, which made Tori scowl. "Jade this is getting ridiculous!" She called out. The only responce the brunette got was a wicked laugh coming from her bedroom.

~~J&T~~

It had been a few days since the last 'Elf Incident' and Tori was starting to get nervous. Jade would never give up so quickly, but she began to also let her guard down, thinking that there was no other demonic thing she could do to the poor Elf Tori was insistent on using. After going a whole day without the Elf moving from its spot, Tori happily went to her bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth.

Not even 10 minutes later, right outside the bathroom door the Elf was laying on the floor in the center of a pentagram made of flour with a few lit candles surrounding it. Tori blew out the candles and grabbed the elf off the floor, stomping into her bedroom. "That's it Jadelyn West! I give up, you win!" She announced, shoving the Elf into the closet and climbing into the bed with a scowl.

"Aw baby, but I liked the Elf" Jade cooed, curling up next to Tori. "He was fun to play with." Tori just rolled her eyes. All she wanted was a simple holiday tradition, but Jade had to ruin it. At least that's what she thought in the beginning.

Now she was beginning to see this "Demonic Elf War" as possibly the start of a new, more interesting tradition for the pair.

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 **Comments make my world go 'round! The more you leave, the faster I'll write more oneshots!**

 **~ Forever &Always,**

 ** _Kimmie_**


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